Dear Coleen
I am a woman in my twenties who has recently started dating someone. While I find him attractive and intriguing, his overwhelming eagerness is putting me off. This level of attention so early in a relationship is unfamiliar to me as my past dating experiences involved uncertainty about the other person’s interest.
During our brief time together, we have spent a weekend away, met his colleagues for drinks, visited his family, including his sister and dog, and he frequently sends me text messages.
I am unsure if I am overanalyzing the situation or being unappreciative. Although my friends think highly of him based on limited interactions, I am feeling overwhelmed and in need of personal space to evaluate my emotions. I am contemplating whether to suggest slowing down the pace of our relationship. While I value his presence, I crave solitude to assess my feelings. I am hesitant to hurt him as there is a possibility that he might be the right match for me. Should I view this as a cause for concern or should I embrace the romance more openly?
Coleen advises
It appears that the intensity of your relationship in a short period is causing your discomfort. However, there is no need to rush into ending things abruptly. Instead, communicate your feelings to him and observe his reaction. If he respects your need for space, it indicates maturity. Simply express that while you enjoy his company, you feel things are progressing rapidly and require time for yourself and other aspects of your life. Clarify that you are navigating this level of enthusiasm for the first time and need to find a balance.
If you genuinely see a future with him and have strong feelings, do not hesitate to share your thoughts openly. Establish a foundation of openness and honesty from the start.
Maintaining a level of longing and playfulness in the relationship is healthy. Avoid taking each other for granted and strive to keep the spark alive.
In comparison to previous partners who displayed reluctance towards commitment, a partner who openly expresses interest and commitment should be viewed positively, not as a red flag.
If you feel overwhelmed, consider spacing out activities and slowing down the pace. It does not have to be an all-or-nothing situation.
She is known for her candid opinions on Loose Women and now serves as Britain’s most straightforward advice columnist, offering guidance on matters of sex, relationships, and life challenges.
EMAIL: dearcoleen@mirror.co.uk – Coleen regrets that she cannot respond individually
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