Dear Coleen,
I am a man in my thirties seeking your guidance regarding a delicate situation involving a mutual married friend. Our interactions with her and her spouse are frequent as we are part of a larger circle of friends.
I have always sensed a mutual attraction between myself and this woman, although neither of us has acknowledged it. It is crucial to note that I am committed to my wife and have no intention of betraying her.
During a recent trip to a Greek island with our friends, the night before our departure, this woman, who had consumed alcohol, approached me at the bar. She behaved inappropriately by expressing her attraction towards me in a physical manner. Concerned about the situation, I discreetly guided her away to a more public area.
Fortunately, her husband intervened and escorted her back to their accommodation. The following morning, she did not address the incident, and there have been no discussions since. I later discovered from another friend that her marriage has been experiencing difficulties.
I am uncertain whether I should broach the topic with her. My primary worry is that I do not want my wife to misconstrue the situation.
In response, I suggest that perhaps she may not recall the incident or feel embarrassed about crossing boundaries. Your unease likely stems from the underlying chemistry between you and this woman, even though you have not acted upon it.
If you feel uncomfortable keeping this from your wife, consider mentioning your observations delicately, expressing concern about her marriage due to her behavior that night. It might be wise to distance yourself from her and her husband socially for the time being.
Additionally, reflect on why this encounter has unsettled you. Is it because you are attracted to her and contemplated acting on it, but refrained?
Although the incident was uncomfortable and could have been more so if witnessed by others, no inappropriate actions took place. Are you struggling with your conscience because of your feelings for her?
To avoid a repeat scenario, refrain from situations that may lead to similar encounters. If it does occur again, be firm in communicating your lack of interest.
Best regards,
Coleen
[Author Bio: She is known for her candid opinions on Loose Women and is now a prominent advice columnist addressing issues related to sex, relationships, and life challenges.]
[Contact: dearcoleen@mirror.co.uk – Note: Coleen cannot respond individually. Write to: Coleen Nolan, The Daily Mirror, One Canada Square, London E14 5AP. Subscribe to her newsletter every Saturday at bit.ly/MirrorColeen]